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Physical by Mari.Reiza
Women's Psychological Fiction
About the Book:
A feminist read that won’t disappoint.
In a small town in Italy, Kiki feels worthless and angry when her longtime partner finds a new cool girl to ride on another decade of easy existence. Meanwhile in London, Fátima, the wife of Kiki’s best friend, is losing her selfhood after giving birth to twins and being made redundant. Both heroines are determined to rebuild the passion and impunity of their youth, vitalizing desires that will bring them to risk everything.
Book Links:
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Read an Excerpt:
‘I have some news,’ I try to smile.
I see his mood changes immediately. The wrinkles in his face swap direction, they become menacing. I have the unpleasant impression that he has been through this before.
‘I’m pregnant.’
Eventually, Beppe says the news is surprising. The next thing he says is that he has no money but that he’s okay to be the dad, ‘if your parents can take the pressure financially’.
If Fátima had taken the floor from under my feet a few hours ago, then he’s now cutting off my legs. He has not hugged me or slapped me. He has not said he’s happy that a new life has resulted from our love, from our story. He has not said that he hates the idea of the child either. He has stated a practical arrangement, where he cannot contribute financially and his parents cannot be dragged into things. In addition, he has kindly let me know that he thinks I’m a loser, who could not cope with this on my own and will run back to Mum.
He has also expressed an understanding that he has a choice. He is okay to be the dad? HE IS THE DAD. Point.
I consider his proposed arrangement. Will he still keep fucking me? Will everything else remain the same? Are the financials the only sticking point? He sees that I’m a bit lost and offers a block of wood as a stool. I‘m so cold my teeth tremble uncontrollably.
‘I’ve no time for a child,’ he says in a calm, well-reasoned exposé. ‘You know that. Not for a full-time child anyway,’ he tells me.
‘Well, who does? Neither do I.’ I had thought that obvious. ‘Right? I will have to make time, to make arrangements.’ There’s more silence. ‘What do you have time for? Will you settle on a two hour a week rental?’ I don’t even sound funny.
‘Maybe I can have him on weekends, and he can see how I work.’
He positions himself convincingly, free of any remorse. Oh yes! Dad showing his sprog how to best invest two pennies. How does he know it’s a he and that he will have an interest in his work? And me? I will clean the shit and do the chores? And give up my job and be dependent on my parents? This man suddenly does not feel like my future anymore but a huge mistake. I’m trying to rewind and start everything again, because I can predict we are on a collision course. I’m on a collision course.
‘My art is my dream, my life and what makes me a man. You would not like me to give that up. You would not like me if I was not this man.’ And as he says that, he’s standing in his butchered jeans, bust to the wind facing the cold, and of course he looks like a great Trojan man. Serene, sensible, noble man, certain of his position in society.
‘And what will happen to me? Will I be able to cope? Will you still like the woman that I will become? Will you love the child?’ I’m saying this aloud without thinking.
Mari.Reiza was born in Madrid in 1973. She studied at Oxford University and worked as an investment research writer and management consultant for twenty years in London, before becoming an indie fiction writer. Also by her, Inconceivable Tales, Death in Pisa, Sour Pricks, A Pack of Wolves, STUP, Mum, Watch Me Have Fun!, Marmotte’s Journey, West bEgg, Room 11, Triple Bagger, Caro M, Opera, the Retreat, sells sea shells and aberri (homeland), all available on Amazon.
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